Stick it up your arse

First it was the frangipani stickers on cars, now it’s the ‘My Family’ stick figure, cutesy, encourage bulimic eating stickers. Seriously, does anyone care about the fact that you want to ‘show off’ your (stick figure thin) family? Is it cruel for infertile couples or people sitting on shelves like spinsters and bachelors, not that bachelors get labelled as sitting on a shelf as such, they are more often celebrated with ‘bachelor of the year’ stories in popular women’s magazines with gorgeous photos and stuff. Bachelors are more like superheros poised on a mantel piece rather than squashed to the back of a dusty shelf in an old fashioned kitchen or lounge room such as a spinster would endure. Spinster? What is that word even about? Dictionary says an unmarried female regarded as being beyond the age of marriage. I mean what is the conventional age of marriage these days? Might as well just say loser biatch...that’s how it feels. But getting back to the ‘My Family’ stickers,....I saw another (sarcastic) version of the stick figure family sticker and it read ‘Who cares about your stupid stick figure family’ and had a few little awkward looking stick figures in discomfited positions and I want one of those. My Family stickers...stick ‘em up your arse!

Fruit that goes up seconds after a cyclone has decimated fruit trees elsewhere is extremely annoying. I’m sure just as Yasi was warming up to spin across the Queensland coast, the fresh food people were squatting in front of banana bins with thick black markers coming up with some inflated figure to commence the enormous ‘fuck you’ to its customers. Just as quick they came up with excuses about raising prices immediately to ‘back pay’ farmers to assist them to recover quicker and survive the short-term financial impact of crop shortages. Bullshit and stick it up your arse.

-Charlie Sheen. Is there a bigger loser on the planet? I love his quick witted quotes though of late, particularly these three;

“I’m on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen”. - Charlie Sheen

“I don't have time for their judgement and their stupidity and you know they lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and look at their loser lives and then they look at me and they say, 'I can't process it' well, no, you never will stop trying, just sit back and enjoy the show. You know? “- Charlie Sheen

And, “From my big beautiful warlock brain, welcome to 'Sheen's Korner' ... You're either in my corner, or you're with the trolls” -Charlie Sheen

What the? Stick him up his own arse.

Crushes

Crushes make you 15 again. If you are 15, I guess its normal behaviour, but when you are older it can make you display silly and even giggly behaviour and feel obsessive and ridiculous, particularly if they are fierce crushes and particularly if you are in a relationship. I think some of us believe it is biologically unsound to develop crushes after the age of 25. I don’t think it’s a question of a lack of emotional intelligence I think it’s normal. I think to get crushes regardless of the fact that you may or may not be single and the other person may or may not be single is just an indication that we are in fact very normal. I don’t think it means you are not in love anymore with the one you’re with if you get a crush and you are hitched. It keeps us alive. It makes us think again about our appearance and hair do’s. It makes us put ourselves out for them like carrying their groceries for them if we accidentally run into them at the supermarket one day.

Crushes do not end at a certain age like baby teeth dropping out of our heads at 7; they pop up and down through life for short periods and sometimes for longer. They’re fun and harmless unless they destroy faith and trust of course but then that is when maturity and good sense hopefully kicks in. Is it love though?...probably not. Lust? Oh yeah.

• The worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and yet you know you can never have them.

• I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi to me, or even smile, because I know even if just for a second, I crossed your mind.

• Should I smile cause were friends, or should I cry cause that's all well ever gonna be.

• I look at him as a friend, then I realised I loved him.

• We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all.

• Sometimes I wonder what you think of me or if you do at all.

• It's not telling you how I feel that scares me it's what you'll say back.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-I86eGJh-M