Stuff I Don't Get ?

Balls on Cars

Seriously I want to know what this is about? I’m talking about coloured testicle looking things handing from the backs of cars towbars…predominately men’s cars, predominantly utes, predominantly blue (although I have seen silver and yellow….why would you get yellow?? Why would you get them at all???). Is it about the car or the man? Does the owner purchase them or should they be a gift from ‘mates’ to add grunt or give it a bit? Is it giving a possibly pathetic looking car “balls” to show off to other males like some iconic caveman dragging some poor bitch by hair from cave to cave or is it confirming that the driver is a fucking tool? Is the car a dick? Or is the driver a dick? Tow Nutz they are referred to as...there’s even a twist on the spelling ‘NUTZ’…oozing testosterone. 

Exes Off Limit

What the fuck is up with your exes not returning your texts or calls when the new partner is around…seriously…if we were not over, we’d be together…get over yourself.

I even had a conversation with one of my exes mother about it after I asked her for his new mobile number. She wouldn’t give it to me. He and I have been friends since 1980, only dated 5 years, friends ever since, then he gets married and there’s a ban???

“He’s a married man you know, Kirstie”…

”Uh huh…AND?”

He has only phoned me on the day of the birth of each of his 3 children.

Also happened with another person I had a fling with, he got with a new person and suddenly didn’t answer my texts or calls if the new partner was there…what do these new partners say to them? Why do they feel it is unreasonable? We are supposed to be adults. I don’t get it.  

Tea Drinkers

What in gods name is up with tea drinkers. Fucking messy and lazy. I’m a coffee drinker and no I do not want to expand my horizons…at all. Tea is for hangovers and Poms. I also don’t like when partner, mother in law (especially mother in law) or friends have a ‘cuppa’ at my place and leave a whole filthy stinking tea bag in the sink or on it…do tea drinkers have something against a bin?…put it in there mother fucker. It is not okay to leave it in the tea cup either…I do not leave my tampons in your toilet without flushing or in your sink. And tea talk is annoying, “Oooh I’m gonna have a nice cup of tea”…as opposed to a foul one? “Oooh  I fancy a nice mug (moog) of tea with some hot chips”…fuck off, yuk. 

Routines

                                

Routines are funny things. We all mostly follow them in some form or another and I get that they serve a purpose and certainly enjoy my routines and hate when they are thrown out for any reason…in saying that I can be flexible and spontaneous but I use routines daily and with my daughter and have since she was born because it calms her, organises me and reduces chaos.  Routines are funny when they become rituals and in some way we all do this too, traditions including birthdays, Christmas, Easter and Sunday mornings can all become ritualistic. Saturday mornings for me is watching rage on TV and having two coffees. Birthdays start on my bed with presents, cards first though and it has been that way my whole life. I think rituals help strengthen shared beliefs and values, and build a sense of belonging and cohesion but I wonder about some of the rituals that some people have and they amuse me to watch them. A woman at my work has, every single morning without fail, an English muffin with butter and tomato. When I work, I take my lunch in the kitchen first thing to put in the fridge and there she is making it. Every day. Another woman at work parks her car in the car park and before she leaves she walks around to the other side of the car, seems to inspect it, tries the passenger door to see if its locked, walks back around to her side of the door, tries her door and then steps away, takes a long look at her car then leaves to come upstairs. It amuses me and makes me wonder as I watch her do it every day through the kitchen window (which is now my ritual). Car park inspector, there’s an important routine to know. Having a chat to work friends today, it was confirmed that nearly all of them followed some sort of fairly rigid routine, particularly in the mornings. A lot of their ritualistic behaviour included daily tasks at home and particularly the way they hung out washing. One used only white pegs, one only yellow and red pegs one blue and pink pegs only. The person who used yellow and  red pegs also hung out her washing one piece female, the next male and so on. They stated that they are creatures of habit and liked it that way. My pod mate follows no routine of any sort. "Kill me now" she kept mumbling throughout our conversation...

Men’s Sandals

No. Just no……Okay?