Little Weirdos

Honestly what the fuck is going on with the jockey? That strange little man with the weird helium voice and the coloured silk shirts... Seen a naked jockey? No hair...none. Hairless like those Sphynx cats but much, much weirder. They are less built than my 5 year old daughter. When I hear a jockey interviewed I freak out because I think it’s a fucked up Muppet. They are oompah loompahs with money. They are the basis for the Randy Newman song, “Short People”;

‘They got little hands 
Little eyes 
They walk around 
Tellin' great big lies 
They got little noses 
And tiny little teeth 
They wear platform shoes 
On their nasty little feet ‘....sing it!! See what I’m saying?

These people have to sit in booster seats at restaurants and they smack their pixie faces into the ground when they sneeze. I asked one at Dooley’s Irish bar once where his pot of gold was...and never heard his soprano reply. Even the name of the jockey attire is weird. Toque (the hat), lunettes (no idea), casaque (the shirt), breeches aka pantaloons (or pants in a normal world)...but apparently a jockey is regarded as being the 2^nd most deadly job, after offshore fishing. From 2002 to 2006 five deaths and 861 serious injuries were recorded. They can also often have eating disorders such as anorexia and suffer dehydration. Just that needs bitch slapping and for striking those poor beasts with a whip...which is possibly called something indulgent like a ‘swank stick’ or something...

I know I’m not equine inclined but seriously, what the fuck?