Neon Vegas

‘Très magnifique’ was the one thought going through my mind as I wandered the cobbled streets beneath French wrought iron street lamps under a light dusky sky. The shop fronts beckoned me with French delights as I strolled past bubbling fountains and down the winding alleyways. In the background was the sound of the ching-ching of poker machines that brought me instantly back to reality...of a sort. I’m not sure if I would put ‘Las Vegas’ and ‘reality’ in the same sentence. Standing amid the 85,000-square-foot casino floor of the ‘Paris’ Casino I glanced up at the 40-foot ceiling which is painted to resemble the sky at day time. After spending an hour or two having a meal and another hour having a glass or two of wine at a bar I left feeling it was time for an afternoon nap. Stepping out onto the street from the casino I was immediately befuddled. I glanced at my watch quickly while my head raced to put it all together. It was 9.50pm, it was black out....well not really it was Las Vegas..it’s never really black out...if there was a blackout...it would be absolute chaos. Regardless, that was how Las Vegas worked. It was like following Alice willingly down the rabbit hole.


Las Vegas. I really enjoy writing about this city because it is implausible and that really is an understatement. You actually have to see it for yourself to comprehend. Neon is the word that comes to mind immediately when considering this place. Neon and slot machine noise. A location that appears to have been picked up from another place (planet) and dropped, certainly not gently, in the middle of nowhere. People come to Las Vegas to gamble, to get married in one of the hundreds of tiny chapels, kitsch and tacky, seedy, themed and certainly different. It’s a story to tell. “We got married in Vegas...by Elvis”. I did in fact and it was amusing, appealing, something celebrities do frequently and a little embarrassing too. Vegas is also a base from which to launch from easily to see the magnificent Grand Canyon, Lake Mead, Hoover Dam, Death Valley and the Valley of Fire. Monument Valley is also on offer from here. Historically, Las Vegas has been linked to the Mexican trader Rafael Rivera who discovered Las Vegas springs, Mormons, Railroad tycoons, the mafia, dinosaurs and finally the gambling masses.

The first time I visited I flew in during the day, stunned to fly over the snow covered mountains surrounding this remarkable metropolis lying like a jewel in the sand of the Mojave desert. I got off of the plane to a 42 degree arid day (105 f) that blew a hot wind. It is a very different place during the day. It really does wake up at night-time to show off its real core and easily recognisable regalia. The place dazzles at night with its trillions of lights and is an absolute neon Mecca. There is a plethora of casinos, motels, budget buffets and shows. An embarrassment of options. If it’s culture you are after, forget it. This is not the place. Gamblers will find this is their paradise. Kids have plenty to do in terms of Adventure domes and parks, museums, games arcades, theme parks and a shark reef and the backpacker can afford it easily with reasonably priced accommodation, meals, drinks and entertainment. $1 Coronas and an overabundance of show girls.

A few days however, in Vegas is enough for me. I love it while I am there and then by day 4 or 5 I feel a strong desire to get out as quickly as possible, a sentiment I have never felt anywhere else in the world. It does not stop me from returning though. The second time I visited Las Vegas I drove in at night by car from LA. The friend who was travelling with me was absolutely speechless while she took it all in. Doused herself in it. “I don’t know if I will ever be able to describe this place to anyone”, she mumbled.

We are all of course, by means of a variety of movies and TV shows, able to recognise famous casino landmarks like the Golden Nugget, Caesars palace, The Flamingo, The Mint, MGM Grand, Excalibur (Oh MY), Circus Circus, Luxor, New York New York, Treasure Island, The Mirage, The Stratosphere tower equipped with roller coaster on the very top...and well the list is truly endless. You can choose extravagant, luxurious accommodation like the Bellagio or crash more cheaply at Wayne Newton’s Stardust. It’s all an eye opener where ever you stay and it is worth wandering the main strip or Las Vegas Boulevard and going inside many of these unbelievably flamboyant casinos just to really soak it all in. It will blow your socks off. Heading into a casino, keep in mind that it is a good idea to wear a watch because you lose track of time very easily. You really have no idea whether it is day or night.

Once inside the casinos they are gaudy, disorientating (I think to keep you in there), noisy and covered in mirrors, flashing lights, tables, machines, and cruising cocktail waitresses offering drinks and free cigarettes. If you want any class at all while in a casino, head for the tables of craps, blackjack, roulette and the like. The machines with their constant clinking and ringing and flashing lights while exciting at first, will do your head in after a while. They all have a million bars to have a drink at which have poker machine screens nestled into the tops of the bars themselves so you can push in yet more coins while waiting for your cheap beverage or while perched on a bar stool sipping on your Pimms cocktail or watermelon mai tai. Restaurants of all calibres are plentiful and bustling with breakfast, lunch and dinner at any time of the day or night (if you remain in a casino there really isn’t a clear day or night and you never really have to go out because they are mini towns themselves offering everything possible under their twinking ceilings dotted with tiny cameras) and the endless all you can eat buffets of course. The prices are spot on because they want you to spend on games, not food and drinks. If you are not a gambler but fancy a small flutter then Vegas is great for you. If you are a big gambler, then Vegas is your heaven...until your money runs out and then it’s your basic nightmare...and remember, house always wins. For cheaper accommodation, check out the older Las Vegas, go Downtown.

Watching the high rollers at the tables is an incredible sight. It blows you away seeing them place thousands and thousands of dollars worth of chips that would in all actuality feed a small third world nation, on one solitary number and you really hope they get it, not to encourage their absurd stupidity but because it’s entirely irksome watching the house win relentlessly.

Strolling past the Bellagio fountains at night, made famous by the Oceans 11 film is an awesome sight that see’s hordes of tourists pulling out their small camcorders to capture them in full flight as they (the fountains of water) dip and dance to classical music that blares over loud speakers you can possibly hear from space. I cannot believe the use in electricity though. Those casinos are huge and all air-conditioned and with the amount of sunlight (and drought) there are no solar panels...at all. None. I stayed at Luxor and there is a huge beam of light that shines from its point, apparently the light is composed of 39 Xenon bulbs that consume 7 kW each, that is 273 kW of electricity, over 100 times what an average home uses. Apparently, Las Vegas demands 5,600 megawatts on a summer day. By 2015 that’s expected to hit 8,000. The Casinos represent 20% of Nevada’s electricity demand! That’s huge. Consumption extravagance certainly in Vegas style.

Travel out to Arizona to see the Grand Canyon. I recommend doing a particular package on offer that suits your needs and wants and that you can purchase anywhere you are staying or though any casino tourist desk. They are reasonably inexpensive and you will never forget the experience. Ever. It is easy to see it all in a day if you want to without feeling as though you have rushed it or missed a thing. There are a stack of different tours you can do. My favourite is this one; Fly by small plane after being picked up from your hotel to the edge of the Grand Canyon. The plane has large windows and an aural description via your own personal headphones regarding what you are looking at. It takes you over stunning Lake Mead and the incredible Hoover Dam and lands at the south rim of the canyon. You get your first glimpse of the enormity of the canyon and it is both a breath taking and humbling experience. From there you take a helicopter flight through the canyon to the floor 4,000-6,000 feet down and then sail by boat up the Colorado river, a river responsible for sculpting this incredible wonder around 17 million years ago. 445 kilometres long and 29 kilometres wide, its depth is an incredible 6000 feet. Flying out again by helicopter you board a hummer and visit a variety of famous and incredibly appealing overlooks and have a light Indian lunch on the edge of the canyon with native Hualapai Indians selling their jewellery and telling you some fascinating historic facts. You return by hummer to the airport and fly back in a small plane to Las Vegas where a bus will take you back to your hotel. You then have the rest of your life to digest this chasm of impeccable beauty and constant changing from season to season and times of the day. The Grand Canyon was more than I’d bargained for in terms of the emotions I felt standing on the edge of something so big and spectacular and the trip was truly worth every cent, euro, peso and yen. Probably my favourite moment was eating an Indian lunch perched on a chair on the edge of the canyon with circling eagles over head and the best view in town or out of town...whatever, it was damn fine.

The trip to Vegas is a huge experience any way you look at it. The point is there is nothing else like it anywhere else in the world. It is famous, elaborate, over the top, corrupt and fascinating, it shares an interesting history, an interesting future and inspires people who visit, to love or hate it. It pulls celebrities and entertainers worldwide who believe they have made it when they score a show in Vegas. It brings in dreamers and high rollers, the curious and honeymooners and these days, families. It occupies all of your senses while you are there and when you finally leave, a part of it goes with you and a part of you is left there with everybody else’s ideals, hopes and money....in the casinos that made Las Vegas, Las Vegas or Sin City. I knew it was time to go as I ventured into yet one more casino to have a look because while they are all the same fundamentally they are also very different in terms of themes and vulgarity...well vulgarity is a word I use after spending a while there...wonder is a term I possibly used on arrival, and knew I had to get the f*ck out of there. That place is enough crazy for anybody.

Las Vegas...who would miss it? I think in your life time you should see this place at least once.

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